NCC - 77447 - B
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Sorrow, Heartache, Emptiness

Posted on Wed Feb 19th, 2020 @ 3:38am by Lieutenant Commander Xavier Patrovski

Mission: Under A Glassy Surface, Where We Don't Belong...
Location: Earth, Rome.
Timeline: Current

People walked about chatting, laughing, smiling, hand in hand, happy as the sun shined brightly above but even its glare failed to dissipate the cloud that loomed above Xavier.

BJ was gone, what was once two planning to become one had ended in one, one alone. Like a Bee with no flower, a Bird with no song. Stress of the last mission, the lack of sleep, the little things seemed to form into one problematic mass, then another, and another and now she was gone. Behind her left a wound that sank deeply and intimately, exposed, raw. It hurt, blaming himself for what happened as he wondered many things that perhaps he was not supportive enough or around enough to keep her interested strongly enough. The more he thought about it the more questions followed but there came no answers, only silence.

He was sat towards the back rows of the Colosseum in Rome, Italy. Nobody knew him, a stranger, a tourist, anything else that was Lt.Commander Patrovski. With her gone he changed quarters, everything changed from bed linen, pillows, even furniture, anything that reminded him of her, anything that was not in his mind.

Love tasted bitter, memories were hollow but pain was very real. Nights were long and restless as he laid in bed or on the sofa thinking, questioning, wondering. Food had become bland as often he would look across the table where she would sit only to see an empty chair.

Like an exposed nerve Xavier tried to close himself off, keeping to himself, everyone could see he was not ok but Xavier was grieving, he needed time. Thankfully he found himself with some following the ships return to Earth after the chaos of the last mission. After everyone that was on the planet was screened, tested and cleared for release into general population and interviews completed everyone seemed to flee to the winds to get away from everything, himself included.

He had thought about resigning his commission, leaving Starfleet but when thoughts of that rose he wondered what he would do instead? He could open a practice of his own true but he enjoyed the uniform and there were very few assignments that afforded him the same renown as his current.

A sigh, a deep breath, a fleeting gust of cooling wind, a ruffle of his hair, a rub of his brow as he knew that he couldn't sit here forever and a day so resigned himself to the fact that though he'd skipped breakfast, he couldn't skip lunch as well.

 

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